Shameless
by Russiada
Summary: Addiction was something that Axel lived. Will he toss away the chance to change everything? Or will he somehow begin a new life? And what about that blonde kid, what's he all about? Yaoi: Don't like, don't read! Rated M for violence and drug use.


**Chapter One **

He walked on the icy sidewalk, cigarette in hand. The trees were beautiful and naked, secluded in their little cubicles and covered with a thin shadow of ice, brittle and shaking delicately in the wind. He sighed softly, releasing into the air a minute cloud of vapor, as he approached the walkway next to the bridge, dropping his cigarette off-handedly in the churning, choppy water. He glanced to the left with heavy eyes and rested skinny arms on the cement railing that kept people like him from doing stupid things. His frame was long and thin, with lanky legs squeezed by too-tight jeans. A sweatshirt far too long and wide hid a bone-thin torso. His flame-red hair was unkempt and wild, pulled into a little rubber band that had the potential to burst in a volcano of crimson. His face was sharp and angular, a pointy chin and defined cheekbones and eyebrows. Narrow, acid green eyes were framed by soft eyelashes and a thick coat of coal black eyeliner.

A crisp breeze interrupted the young man's thoughts, and with it came a gentle voice.

"Axel."

He looked at the owner of the voice casually.

"Namine."

She ran up to him and threw her short arms around him, his baggy sweatshirt billowing around the pressure of her arms like a balloon. He rolled his eyes and jerked out of her grasp. She was crying, ugly lines of black trailing down her pale face. She would be heart wrenchingly beautiful to anybody else, with her smooth blond hair and little stature, but he had known her for so long that her stunning loveliness had no effect on him.

"I-I thought you were going t-to-"

"Shut up, Nam. I'm no moron." He began walking back to land, the wind from passing cars ruffling his already messy hair. He shoved one bony hand in his back pocket and fished out a lighter, tossing it over the railing to join its cancerous friend.

"Why'd you do that?" Namine said, trotting to keep up with his long strides.

"It was out of fluid." He tried to make it as obvious as possible that he didn't want to speak with her, but the stupid girl wouldn't take the hint.

"Oh. Are you going back to Vexens?" Now her intentions were made clear.

"No Namine," He spun around and grasped her by the collar of her frilly and faded white shirt, "I'm not going back to that hell-hole. He really pissed me off with that little stunt he did, and it was a bad move to send his little handmaid to fish me back. I don't forgive that easily."

"Come on, Ax!" The girl in white whined, "It wasn't so bad. It was an accident. C'mon, he feels bad; maybe he'll even give you some sweets on the house, yeah?"

"I don't want any of his shit, fool me once, right?" He retorted, dropping her with a disgusted look on his face before plunging his hand down the front of her shirt and pulling out a tightly wrapped package of white substance, "Is this a back-up plan, Nam? Because you and Vexen both know that I have other, more reliable, sources."

Her face turned a blotchy shade of pink, and then turned as red as the taller boys hair when he tipped it over the edge without breaking eye contact with her.

"You're such an idiot, Nam." He whispered, face inches from hers. She slapped him. Hard.

"What the hell, Axel? You know damn well that I can't keep up with all of the freaks that Vexen sells to without you! If you leave me alone I swear to God I'll-"

"What, Namine," Axel's voice rose and his regal face contorted with rage, "You'll what? You don't have the balls to do anything, and you'll be tied to that rat Vexen until you either quit or die! And I think we know which of those will happen first, don't we?"

Axel's face was purple where she had slapped him, and in a dramatic fit of rage, she spun as he had, and stormed off in the opposite direction. He snorted loudly and shoved his hands aggressively into his pockets, before taking off. The walkway was completely barren, save for the sounds of passing cars. He kept his head down and eyes on the ground. He walked along the sidewalk next to the sleeping brick buildings that framed downtown Radiant Garden. He took an unexpected turn down a narrow street, emerging on a shady street that was completely deserted. He looked around, suddenly paranoid as he fished a package of white substance, only a little smaller than the one hidden in Namine's bra. His hand shook, bony wrist suddenly exposed from the depths of his sweatshirt. He licked suddenly dry lips and closed his hand on the little goldmine.

He entered the nearest club, music pulsing with sudden liveliness and light flooding the gray streets of Axel's unknown boulevard. He nodded at the bouncer, whose eyes glinted at him in a modest tone of respect. He sat in a booth near the bar, and motioned for a bubbly, bouncing waitress to come and see to him.

"Hey, babe!" What had he done last time he was here? Apparently this waitress.

"Hey," He replied casually checking a watch too big for his tiny wrist, "Could you send Xaldin over here?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess. You know, I get off in about fifteen minutes-"

"That's fantastic, but I have work to get to. So sorry baby, I'll call you?"

"Okay!" She immediately brightened, excitedly turning on her too-high heels and through a door behind the bar. A couple minutes later, an ape-like man with long black dreadlocks lumbered out into the area, where he received a couple curious looks from lonely bar-dwellers.

"Axel, what the hell are you doing here?" He sat in the booth across from Axel, looking far too large for such a small chair. He looked uncomfortable and out of place.

"What a warm welcome from such a close friend." Axel grinned bitterly, spreading his arms in a motion as though he was about to embrace the other man in a hug neither of them would enjoy.

"Whatever," Xaldin rested huge, hairy arms on the table, "Xigbar is already there. Do you really want to be out of your mind when he's there? God knows what you two would do."

"Relax, Xiggy is probably already passed out on the floor, I'll be fine." Standing up, Axel punched Xaldin playfully in the arm before slyly making his way to the dance floor. He was surrounded by sweaty bodies and pulsing strobe lights.

Axel made his way to the room past the floor, a dark black rectangle splattered by neon paint. Inside with the door shut, the sound from the bar itself was muffled. Sprawled on the chair farthest from the door was a man with salt and pepper hair pulled back into a ponytail much neater than Axels. He was drooling on a table, arms hanging uncomfortably at his sides. A syringe lay on the floor, resting silently on the hard floor. Axel sneered in disgust and quickly whipped out his cocaine, hands shaking as he fished out his razor. After lining it up carefully, he hesitated. He had gotten it from Vexen, and was unsure of whether or not it could be trusted. The last time he had gotten his shit from Vexen, the pain he was forced to endure in the hours afterwards made him desperately wanting to kill the rat of a man. His head was still achy from being slung over a toilet bowl, emptying his stomach.

That was different, though. Vexen wouldn't dare do it again to him. Right?

Shrugging, he snuffed his precious blow, shuddering as the substance wormed its way into his system. The effects were powerful, and he moaned as he slowly lowered his head onto the greasy table before him.

His breathing was ragged, stars popping before his very eyes. _What was happening? _Something was terribly wrong. This wasn't how he was supposed to feel.

_That sniveling, vile, disgusting little-_

And everything went black.

_A strong and slender hand was grabbing his. Its grasp was firm and controlling, pulling him along some unknown place. Looking up he saw a head of red hair, slick and held back by a thin plastic headband. His small hand had disappeared in the larger one, and the women that belonged to the hand glanced down at him before yanking him along with her. _

"Ax? Hey, Kid!"

_The pair stopped, and Axel looked around. They were at a bus stop, and across the street he could see the homeless milling about begging for change. It made him feel uncomfortable, and he wanted to leave. He pulled on the women's slender arm._

_ "Mama?"_

"Is he breathing?"

_"What is it, Axel?" The women looked annoyed._

_ "Can we go home?"_

"No, no, no! C'mon, Ax, wake up!"

_They boarded the bus. His mother dragged him to the very back, where a suspicious young man sat waiting. His hair was long, greasy and blonde. Axel hated the look on his face as he motioned for his mother to sit next to him. Axel remained standing, not knowing what to do now that his mother's vice-like grip on his hand was absent. The only other open seat was next to the strange man, and Axel had a bad feeling about him. _

_ "_I don't care what he was doing, call an ambulance!"

_The man slipped a little package into his mother's outstretched hand, and in turn she pushed a small wad of cash into his pants pocket. They never spoke, and Axel only stood there wondering just what was going on. The bus kept moving, becoming more crowded as the time wore on. They'd been on the bus for twenty minutes, and Axels small legs were growing tired. The pair departed the bus after an entire hour went by, and after Axel was forced to sit next to the strange blonde man to still his restlessness. _

"He's stable!"

_He cried the entire ride home. _

"Wake up, Mr. Sinclair, wake up!"

_His mother locked her bedroom door, leaving her poor son to amble around on his own, seeking to amuse himself in that empty apartment. _

"You're in a lot of trouble, kid."

_She left a pack of cigarettes on the table. He took one out and looked at it, but failed to see why it was so important._

"Wake up!"

_His mother emerged from her sanctuary. He stuffed the lone cigarette in his pocket._

Behind the safety of his eyelids, Axel could feel his head throbbing and a burning pain in the back of his throat. Eyelashes fluttered open, and green eyes took in the cloudy sight of white hospital walls. The sun shone through thin sheet-like curtains on a window to the left of his bed. He felt like _shit_.

"Hello, Mr. Sinclair." A too-loud voice said.

Axel tried to reply, but the only thing that came from his mouth was a strangled sound of a choking person, and he realized that his throat was dry as ash. He sat up painfully, and the whole world spun. He grabbed at a glass of water just out of his reach, but found that his right hand was leashed in by an IV. The owner of the voice grabbed it quickly, holding it up to Axel's cracked lips. He drank, heavy eyelids falling closed as he relished the coldness of the water on his tongue.

"Let's try that again, shall we?" The voice said impatiently. Axel looked at this stranger, and was surprised to see a man as young as he, dressed in a doctor's costume. His hair was as long as Axels, but looked like liquid silver, "You've been unconscious for a week. When your friends brought you in, we thought you were dead. You are one lucky son of a bitch."

"Hmm, I wouldn't call it luck. Can I leave?" He was terrified, not because he was completely out of it for a week, but because hospitals had the equipment to know exactly what he was up to.

"No. We found traces of cocaine in your vitals tests. I could easily have you arrested."

Axel's heart skipped a beat. Arrested? He would not do well in prison. There had to be a way out of it.

"But once again, you are lucky. The state police department left your situation in my hands." His tone was light, but his words were somehow menacing.

"What are you going to do?" Axel swallowed thickly.

"I'm not sure yet. Obviously I can't just let you go, can I?" He lowered his voice, "I won't have them arrest you. I looked through your files. You've got quite the history, don't you?".

"Surely you aren't allowed to do that?" Axel said, face flushing.

"I am, actually. I'm your doctor, and because you are over the age of eighteen and mentally unstable, I can do whatever I please."

"What the hell? I'm not mentally unstable!"

"Aren't you? A severe case of anorexia, a life-consuming drug addiction-"

"I don't even know you!" His head pounded and the lights above him pulsed, "I got over that shit years ago, I-"  
>"Got over it years ago? Axel, do you see yourself? Bone-thin, pale as hell, and you think you got over it years ago? You have a problem, Axel!"<p>

"_You_ _don't know me. _Don't talk to me like you think you know me!"

There was silence. The doctor next to him straightened his white coat, and stood up.

"Would you like me to let the police handle this? I'm sure if you explain it they'll understand." The doctor was quiet as he said it.

"No!" Axel's eyes widened, "Please, no."

"Very well," The silver-haired man smiled, "First of all, any drugs you've been taking you'll stop."

"Shit no!"

"That wasn't a question. You'll also get a real job-"

"I have a real job. I work at little restaurant down by-"

"Damn kid, will you quit interrupting me? You're quitting that job. I have a friend that owns a little bookstore and is willing to give you an interview. But first you're going to clean yourself up."

He got up to leave, but stopped before the door.

"Oh, yeah. You won't leave until I say so. For now you're technically 'under my care' and will henceforth be living with me by my terms."

"Bullshit! What about my-"

"We'll pick up your clothes and necessities when you're released. You're phone has been taken and I took the liberty of erasing all of the contacts. I have work to do, so if you need me, just ask one of the nurses to get me for you."

"I don't even know your name!"

"Riku. This last week has been hell for me, Axel, let's try not to let it go to waste." And he left Axel feeling angry and confused.


End file.
